Broken Rail

 

" you have to embrace the pain in order for it to have the desired effect"

~Drew Brees 

   

The Westbound coal drag 

        

    In 2019 I had to make a hard choice and leave my employer of over 5 years that afforded me the wonderful mornings of trains and ham radio, it wasn't a easy choice and it put a serious dent in my trackside mobile operation. For 3 out of 5 years I was a staple on the barometer net and trackside in Akron. Soon afterward I began spiraling away from trains, ham radio and rail-fanning altogether and went only on a handful of excursions with my lady with little to no excitement. In December 2019 I chose to change careers again only to find myself still unable to get the desire to go back trackside or even fully enjoy ham radio. 

Coal Cars roll by 

     The pandemic of 2020 put another big damper and it didn't help my feeling  of being uninterested in my hobbies. What caused my dismal feeling? Was it I was growing out of the hobby? Did I lose my passion? Was I bullied out? and the answer was I had been bullied out of my passion. For the most of 2018-2019 I helped a fellow ham (The one who introduced me to ham radio) at his shop and at ham-fests. While I was there helping him it seemed I was not smart enough or good enough and I gave up even trying to  even show any interests in my hobbies as I was punished for trying to do anything that wouldn't benefit him, after leaving him and taking on a new job, I just didn't have the time  or the desire to divulge myself into my hobbies. My lady tried to encourage me to get back to what I loved however the only thing I seemed interested in was storm spotting, not realizing I was in the middle of my own storm and was losing direction. 

The Eastbound auto carrier 

What changed to get me back on track? (Pun intended) Well over the course of the summer my lady and I would go and sit trackside along with a few snacks and try to enjoy the day, however it just still didn't work.  Beginning this fall I decided to begin to start remodeling the shack and building a Go Box and as fate would have it my small propane heater ran out of fuel during one of the coldest weeks of this month. So  instead of trying to heat and work in my shack before I go to work I decided to go trackside mobile at a spot I normally  would go on the weekends. It had just freshly snowed the night before and I went trackside similar to what I had at my old job. It was cold out, I had my coffee, a great sunrise, the barometer net on the radio and a fresh snowfall and it seemed like a already beautiful morning, could it get any better?  Yes it did!!! On my scanner the Q216 cracked the silence and called a signal two signals away from me while the other railroad was giving out track warrants a westbound coal drag snuck up on me I looked up and saw the westbound coal drag with a UP leader. Two trains at once? It was!!! It almost was instant my feeling of  being uninterested left and my passion began to come back flooding in. Now I still have a long way to go to get back to where I was but now I am back on track and slowly rolling toward my destiny once again. Sometimes all it takes is a moment  And God  to change your circumstances, so if you are feeling like I was take the time to reflect on why you feel that way, and then embrace the pain and the rest will fall into place. Until Next time my friends, remember God id still in control, Take care and Be Blessed  ~73